My Seventy-sixth Post

Let me tell you about a good friend of mine. I will call her Tomboy. She is the most Christ-like person I have ever come to know. For the last two years, she is the one I have gone to with all of my problems because I know she can help make it better. She can inspire me to be better because I know that she genuinely cares about me and my problems.

She has been out-of-town for a while, so I haven’t spoken to her much in the last few months. She came back a couple of days ago, and when I realized she was home, I couldn’t contain my excitement. In fact, I was slightly miffed that she hadn’t come to see me yet. My exact thought was “She has to come, I need her!”

So anyway, I was pretty stir-crazy last night and I needed to escape from my apartment for a while, so I went to her place. I figured we could catch up and then she could help me figure out how to fix my life.

[aside: I had the weirdest experience walking over to her apartment last night. I was almost hit by a car. As I sat there in the middle of the road trying to figure out how I had gotten there, I really felt no emotions. Nothing that I would have expected to feel after such a close call with serious injury. No anger, no fear, no relief. Honestly, the only thought I really had was that my pants were all muddy, and I would have to wash them.]

So I got to her apartment, and we made small talk for a bit. After a while, her roommates went to bed, and I felt like I could really talk to her. I knew some of the things that had been happening in her life, so I started asking about them, and she began to get really emotional about it. I had no idea there was that much pain beneath the surface, and I had no idea how to help her. I felt like my presence was only making things harder, and I was suddenly ashamed of how selfish I was to expect her to magically help me with my problems, when I couldn’t even comfort her in her pain. Actually, I was in shock. Why, Heavenly Father, does she have to go through so much pain? Why is it that one of your most valiant daughters, who is so righteous and loving, has to deal with this? Why can’t you lessen her pain and help her, as I can’t? I was quite distraught over the whole thing. And then I sat there listening to her for several hours as she tried to answer my silent questions herself. I was so ashamed that even while going through so much tribulation, she could still see Heavenly Father’s plan so much clearer than I could. I knew that eventually she would be okay—better than okay, because God’s promises are sure. And He will not give her more than she can bear. I just wish He’d help me better know how I can help. At least I was able to sit with her and listen and let her know that I am her friend. I just wish there were more I knew how to do.

~*~

On a much lighter note, my roommate DancerGirl is getting married today. When I came home last night, she was already asleep. I wanted her to get as restful night of sleep as possible, so I was absolutely silent as I prepared for bed, set my alarm, and crawled under my covers. I then spent the next two hours lying perfectly still trying to suppress the urge to cough until I finally fell asleep. Seeing as how I’ve been sick and have been coughing every two minutes for the last several days, this was quite a feat. I know she’ll never know of my sacrifice, but I was proud to offer it. Congratulations, DancerGirl. I’ll miss having you around.