Things my sister Martin has promised if I move in with her after I graduate (compiled by searching our chat history for the phrases "if you lived here," "if you lived with me," "if you moved to Phoenix," etc):
- She will no longer be the de facto favorite sister/aunt just because she lives significantly closer to the family than I do.
- She will watch any past, current, or future Terminator movies with me.
- She will always have pie for me.
- She will let me use her Blu-Ray player, giant TV, and StarGate Blu-Ray any time I want.
- She will give me her laptop.
- She will let me get a puppy or kitty.
- She will let me make chicken noodle soup for her.
- She will let me scare off her friends by alienating them with threatening text messages.
- She will eat my baked goods.
- She will bake me chocolate round cake, with strawberries in the middle.
- She will expect me to keep cake in the house at all times.
- She will make sure my birthday is way cooler than it has been in Provo (metaphorically, not temperature-wise).
- She will buy me a couch that I can keep in her dining room.
- She will not protect my stuffed squirrel army from her cats.
- She will switch to a 2 bedroom apartment.
- She will not allow any of my stuff out of my room because it will clash with her "pretty decor".
- She will buy a fancy set of cookware.
- She will share her pumpkin spice cake with me.
- She will visit me from work.
- She will let me live with her rent free if I kill any scorpions we encounter.
- She will provide me with tortillas
- She will write scary limericks on her food to warn me not to eat it.
- She will provide me with peaches.
- She will take me to the grocery store or, realistically, give me her car keys.
- She will hide all the good food in her closet.
- She will play with me except during homework time and actual work time. Mostly just for a few hours in the evening and on weekends.
- She will support me / let me mooch off her.
- She will never have to throw away her Australian liquorice.
- She will let me eat ice cream for dinner every day.
- She will help me conduct a controlled study to compare the ice cream experience of Provo with that of Phoenix.
- She will feed me black beans, rice, chicken, salsa, corn, cheese, and sour cream.
- She will have instant access to my DVD collection and vice versa.
What do you think? Should I accept her proposal? Or wait and see what else she's willing to offer?
7 comments:
Crap. I'm going to have to be a lot more carefull about what I promise you when you move down here.
She told me I could give you any pets people try to give my children.
I'd hold out for a Bausch mixer.
It seems like a good list scorpion queen.
accept! accept! anybody who has always got pie for you...
Thanks. I appreciate the support of all Holly's Utah friends in her moving to Phoenix. It really makes it easier to convince her when her Utah friends want her to leave.
It makes me sad when you threaten to live away from me. And share your baked goods with them instead of me. And make them soup.
No wonder you're so anxious to leave...but I wouldn't believe her. Whenever you promise to make me cupcakes, you don't. :-( It's probably a family trait.
And...hi.
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