My One-hundred-and-ninetieth Post

10 tips for having fun at the movies

1. Know your companion: Are you going with a date? A friend? A group of people? Giggley girls? [Your mom!] These are important factors to be aware of.
   
2. Pick your movie wisely: It doesn't have to be a great movie, but it does need to be something that piques your interest. Also take into account your companions: if they're not fans of scary movies, don't make them go to one unless you're prepared to leave with fingernail marks imprinted in your arm. If your friends are movie snobs, stay away from the generic preteen movies. (Save them for others who will appreciate them more--like me!) If you know you're just going to talk or make fun of it the whole time, wait until it's been out for a few weeks so those who want to take it seriously will have their chance (or at least go to a really late showing so you'll disturb fewer people).
3. Bring a sweater and a big purse: Movie theaters can get really cold, and unless you want an excuse to snuggle up to your companion, come prepared. And the bag is an important preparation to for the next step.
4. Go to a gas station or grocery store: Making this quick stop will save you a ton of money when it comes to concessions. Pick out whatever junk food strikes your fancy. It's important to have a good balance between sugary/salty and fruity/chocolatey treats. Don't forget drinks! I always grab a water bottle even if I'm also getting a juice or soda. Be sure to try something new! One of the best discoveries I ever made came from grabbing something randomly off the shelf: Toffifay! Just make sure you have enough room to smuggle everything in: don't let your eyes get bigger than your pockets! [Bonus! Buy Pop Rocks to eat during the car chase or the magical transformation scene. Anything's better with Pop Rocks]
   
5. Get there ahead of time: Though the previews are an important part of the experience, even more critical here is your seat selection. Getting there early lets you have more choices and ensure you can sit together. I like to get center seats that are far enough back that I don't have to turn my head to see the whole screen at once. Plus you'll have a chance to talk with your companion a bit before the show!
6. Silence your cell phone: Don't forget (like you could with all the "friendly" reminders), and don't just put it on vibrate. Even a vibrating phone can still distract you (at best) or might even drag you down into the despicable sin of texting during a movie (at worst). The only exception to this rule is if you're a mom with a babysitter at home--then vibrate is acceptable.
   
7. Be courteous: Make sure you have fun, but don't interfere with the experience of others. The golden rule absolutely applies in movie theaters. If people keep shooting you dirty looks you should knock off what ever it is you're doing. Seriously. Right now. I will cuht you. And maybe call sekhurity.
   
8. Don't ever leave early: This is why step 2 is so important. If you know you're the type to get squeamish or easily offended, don't go to movies that make you squirm and wince. Once you've paid for the movie, you might as well see it through to the end. It will give you resolution so at least you won't wonder for the rest of your life if the end could possibly be as bad as the beginning. Sometimes movies surprise you, and that's a good thing. If nothing else, it's rude to your companions to deny them that resolution, even if you don't think you need it.
9. Don't bolt: Stay through the first 3 minutes of credits, at least. It will give you time to digest the ending and evaluate how you feel about the film as a whole. Also, since you got their early enough to get good seats, you're probably sitting in the middle. If you wait until after the mass exodus of people from the theater, you won't have to climb over and trample people to get out. The only vaild exception is if you really need to use the restroom--then get out as soon as you can because there will be a line. There's always a line.
   
10. Pick up after yourself: It takes you very little effort to toss your cups and wrappers on the way out of the theater. Do the cleaning crew this small service: I can't imagine its fun to pick up after slobs.