Things my sister Martin has promised if I move in with her after I graduate (compiled by searching our chat history for the phrases "if you lived here," "if you lived with me," "if you moved to Phoenix," etc):
- She will no longer be the de facto favorite sister/aunt just because she lives significantly closer to the family than I do.
- She will watch any past, current, or future Terminator movies with me.
- She will always have pie for me.
- She will let me use her Blu-Ray player, giant TV, and StarGate Blu-Ray any time I want.
- She will give me her laptop.
- She will let me get a puppy or kitty.
- She will let me make chicken noodle soup for her.
- She will let me scare off her friends by alienating them with threatening text messages.
- She will eat my baked goods.
- She will bake me chocolate round cake, with strawberries in the middle.
- She will expect me to keep cake in the house at all times.
- She will make sure my birthday is way cooler than it has been in Provo (metaphorically, not temperature-wise).
- She will buy me a couch that I can keep in her dining room.
- She will not protect my stuffed squirrel army from her cats.
- She will switch to a 2 bedroom apartment.
- She will not allow any of my stuff out of my room because it will clash with her "pretty decor".
- She will buy a fancy set of cookware.
- She will share her pumpkin spice cake with me.
- She will visit me from work.
- She will let me live with her rent free if I kill any scorpions we encounter.
- She will provide me with tortillas
- She will write scary limericks on her food to warn me not to eat it.
- She will provide me with peaches.
- She will take me to the grocery store or, realistically, give me her car keys.
- She will hide all the good food in her closet.
- She will play with me except during homework time and actual work time. Mostly just for a few hours in the evening and on weekends.
- She will support me / let me mooch off her.
- She will never have to throw away her Australian liquorice.
- She will let me eat ice cream for dinner every day.
- She will help me conduct a controlled study to compare the ice cream experience of Provo with that of Phoenix.
- She will feed me black beans, rice, chicken, salsa, corn, cheese, and sour cream.
- She will have instant access to my DVD collection and vice versa.
What do you think? Should I accept her proposal? Or wait and see what else she's willing to offer?
