Jequirity

Lowbrow blogging. You know, for kids.

2011-11-18T20:14:00.009-07:00

I'm not actually a huge Twilight fan, but I like the books and movies well enough. It's just the uber!crazy fans that worry me somewhat on occasion.

And really, I've never understood the Team Edward vs Team Jacob mentality. I mean, who are these people on Team Jacob? Why would you CHOSE to be on the losing team? Are they just saying that if they had to chose, they would likely choose Jacob over Edward?

Well guess what, Jacobians. You are not the central character in the middle of that particular love triangle. Her name is Bella Swan. She may be silly, but she still gets to chose her romantic partners. You do not get a choice. She does. Understood? Bella chooses Edward, and it was pretty obvious from the beginning that she was going to. PAINFULLY OBVIOUS.

It's like when sports fans watch a game where they know their favored team has no chance what-so-ever of winning, but they still cheer for them like it will make a difference. YOU are not playing. Nothing you do will affect the outcome. At some point your loyalty may have been earned, but there comes a time where it becomes foolish. Cut your losses and seek out greener pastures.

It baffles me.

Whenever I think about my blog anymore, I always whine to myself about how I never have anything I want to say. So I have forced myself to take a terse and flippant status message and turn it into a terse and flippant blog post. You are welcome, internet.

Frittering away.

2011-07-31T12:08:00.004-06:00

I realize it has been ages since I blogged. I apologize to all three of my readers. However, I feel like I haven't had much to say lately.

But, I suppose I have to end the lack of blogging eventually. So here are a few things in my life:

I am turning 25 next week which kind of terrifies me. Being 25 will greatly reduce my ability to pretend I'm still in my early twenties and still allowed to be "figuring things out."

I got a jury summons in the mail a few days ago. I am not really looking forward to it, but it probably won't be as bad as I imagine it will be. Also, not wanting to get jury duty is one of the reasons I've never registered to vote. (Feel free to judge me. I judge myself for this.) I guess that's not really a valid reason anymore. Especially since I didn't allow the possibility of jury duty to prevent me from getting my driver's license. Oh well.

I went shopping with some of the money from my tip jar yesterday. For the longest time I wasn't spending any of that money at all because I was saving for a Kitchenaid mixer. But once I surpassed that goal, I felt like I could start spending a bit here or there to tip the pizza guy or do something fun that wasn't in my budget. Yesterday I managed to spend $80 worth of tip money that I had brought 'just in case.' But it was fun. Martin and I drove an hour and a half to meet our eldest sister at the city halfway between us. We saw Cowboys and Aliens and got lunch and I bought a couple new shirts that I really like even though I thought they were too expensive.

Martin and I keep our 72-hour-kits along with a few gallons of water on one of the shelves in our pantry. This morning we discovered that 3 of the 4 gallons had sprung leaks (probably a few days ago) and soaked down into a box of my cookbooks and random recipe papers I'd stashed there (with the idea that I would eventually type the up and keep them forever). Now I'm too sad. Plus, how annoying is it that THREE OF FOUR gallons randomly started leaking without any discernible reason. The only good news was that I had waterproofed everything in the kits, so none of that was ruined.

Blogging From My Phone

2011-04-15T14:01:00.000-06:00

So I have recently acquired a fancy new phone. (Don't judge, it was totally in the budget.) I am currently writing this post with my phone on the super-useful slide out keyboard. It is that awesome.

Along with my fancy phone, I also aquired a fancy new phone number. I had a few reasons for doing this, but mostly I just wanted to. Please do not be offended if I have not personally contacted you to notify you of my nw number. I didn't even give it to my dad. If you want it, ask. And then I will decide if you are worthy of it on a case-by-case basis. (Kidding!) (Mostly.)

The only only problem with my new number is that it seems like the previous owner of it is still using it / giving it out to service techs and collection agencies. I get at least 3 calls a week for Sergio and often they are from people telling me they will be showing up in the next 15 minutes to install my new cable box. Or telling me I owe them a lot of money.

Stupid Sergio.

Tips for a Happy Life

2011-02-03T17:41:00.007-07:00

So the place where I work has a tip jar. A lot of people just drop in their change, and a few regulars sometimes throw in a little more. At the end of each shift, we split it up and everybody usually ends up with a dollar or two and large handful of change. Which I take home and put in a jar.

I kind of thought it would be cool to just keep the money in there forever and see how much I could collect. But, um... it was getting really full. And there is really no point in that kind of "saving," is there?

No, I didn't think so.

So last night I took it to the grocery store and turned all the coins into an amazon gift card worth almost $50. (If you use a CoinStar machine to get cash, they'll charge you a 10% fee. But if you are willing to accept a gift certificate instead of cash, there's no fee.)

So this is what I got with my tips:

The Ender's Shadow Series Box Set AND the Ender Quartet Box Set. Plus, I still have like $40 in one dollar bills. Any suggestions on how to spend it?

Color Coordination in the Kitchen.

2010-12-09T16:52:00.004-07:00

Guys. Martin says I shouldn't show this to you because it reflects badly on our housekeeping skills. But GUYS! It is so awesome. I give you...

MOLD!!!

Sometimes I like to soak things so they won't get all crusty by the time I get around to dishes. But in this case, I think it may have been counterproductive. Let's look at it again...

Isn't it pretty? And it kind of matches the bowl! Now that's fancy!

Dear family,

2010-11-23T14:13:00.000-07:00

See you soon!

~Holly

Bits and Pieces

2010-11-15T11:28:00.004-07:00

I do not have a job at this time. I had a second interview for a job last Friday, but they have not called me back. This is disappointing because getting to the interview was super stressful and I kind of feel like the universe owes me.

Last Thursday my eldest sister came up with her four kids and spent the day with us. Saturday, two other nieces came up and spent some time here too. I think that every doorknob and light switch in the house is sticky at this point.

Martin bought a table a while ago, but it was on back order and finally came in a few days ago. So we pulled all the seats out of my car and brought it home to assemble. And now I can't get the seats back into my car because it is too hard. Also massive cardboard boxes and various other packing materials have taken over the kitchen and dining room.

I finally got stuff hung on the walls in my room. I also rearranged my furniture a while ago, and my room is officially awesome now. Humphry sleeps in there all the time, and Martin even comes in to watch movies sometimes.

Martin bought a little wooden Christmas countdown thing with two numbered cubes that you can move around each day. But the blocks are really only designed to display numbers 1-25, and there are currently 39 days left. So I turned the '8' block on its side so it looks like the infinity symbol. I think it is bumming Martin out.

Conflict of Interest.

2010-11-05T11:42:00.005-06:00

I had a boss that always had an answer to everything. Problem was, sometimes he'd just make it up. Like the time he told someone that corned beef was named because it was traditionally serve with corn. Um... no. It's called corned beef because of the peppercorns used to season it during the boiling process.

Now, he's not alone in telling this kind of lie. People want answers, and often making them up is the easiest way to satisfy everyone. I've done it on occasion. And parents, in particular, seem to be huge perpetrators of this kind of lie.

Martin and I were actually talking about this the other day. Sometimes I'll be going about my normal day and it will suddenly dawn on me that some "fact" my parents instilled in me (when I was an impressionable, malleable child) is completely without basis. And not just the old wives' tales like don't swim for an hour after you eat.

No, no. These were outright lies they made up so they would have some sort of factual reason for making us stop our annoying behavior in a way that we couldn't argue with. On long car trips, they told us that the back seat reading lights would blind other drivers and we had to keep them off. "For safety." Clearly, they just wanted us to stop playing with the lights and sleep. But to this day I still get nervous when someone turns on interior car lights when I'm driving at night.

Anyway, back to my former manager. One time we were doing inventory of our ice cream novelty items, and I mentioned that sales would probably drop off now that it had started snowing. He told me that ice cream sales actually go up during the winter. I was properly amazed by his knowledge of all things sales-related, and then moved on to counting individual sticks of cheese.

But the other day, I was actually discussing ice cream consumption in winter, and my brain immediately piped up with that long forgotten factoid. After thinking about it for a minute, I became a bit suspicious. I decided to turn to my pal, the Internet to get some real answers.

See? I knew Internet would tell me the tru...

Wait a second... NONE of the top results can agree with each other? Internet! You have failed me! Can I trust no one?

*sigh*

How I wake up. Every single day.

2010-11-03T09:56:00.007-06:00

The cat is upset.
The cat is upset because the door is closed.
The cat is concerned that I am unaware of his displeasure.
The cat attempts to make me aware of the problem by:

(a) meowing
(b) swiping his little cat paw under the door
(c) scratching
(d) more meowing

I do not open the door.
The cat does not give up.

The Shortcut to Enlightenment?

2010-10-28T23:33:00.007-06:00

I have always been a very curious person. When I feel like I am out of the loop on something, I have a compulsive need to educate myself on the matter. For most things, I do not immediately delve into the deep, dark domain of decidedly detailed data.

(...might have gone a little overboard with the alliteration there.)

I am typically looking for more of a surface understanding. My most useful tool? The internet. Some days, my best friends turn out to be Wikipedia, IMDB, Acronym Finder, Amazon, Snopes, YouTube, Dictionary.com, and (of course) the almighty Google.

Here is a very incomplete list of things that I regularly search the internet for information on:

Seemingly topical allusions/references I do not understand
Song lyrics I can't quite figure out
Status messages that seem like they might have a double meaning
Apparently common conversation topics that I am unacquainted with
Definitions of words I don't know
Summaries of books I think I should know
Jokes on TV I don't grasp
Actors I recognize but can't place
Current political events I have no actual knowledge of (but that keep popping up in discussion)
Internet memes I have encountered but do not "get"
Relative locations of places on maps

When I identify something I'm unfamiliar with, it niggles in the back of my mind until I can solve the puzzle. (niggles: 3rd person singular present (v.) 1. Cause slight but persistent annoyance, discomfort, or anxiety.)

So I look it up. I satisfy my urge to be in the know. I figure out the lay of the land before engaging in conversation on the topic. A quick internet search tends to give me a decent overview of the situation, allowing me the confidence to discuss things and feel like I am doing so in an intelligent manner.

I don't think there is a problem with educating myself. But what about when it comes down to discussing things with other people? Could my constant and instantaneous internet searches be construed as... cheating? Taking the shortcut to enlightenment? Am I misrepresenting myself to my peers by bandying about ill-gotten facts as though I am an expert on the subject?

I desperately want to appear intelligent and well informed when I talk to people. If you bring up a book I've never heard of, there is a fifty percent chance I will have it's Wikipedia entry open in 2 seconds flat. In fact, here is an example of a time when I did exactly that...

[A conversation I had in 2006, where I come clean about my internet search tendencies, mid-deception.]

Bonnie: We read Crying of Lot 49.
One of my least favorite books ever.
Me: Ah, the muted horn.
So deep.
Bonnie: Out of all the books we read this semester the one I truly sincerely hated.
Muted horn!
Holly, I am impressed by your knowledge of books you have never read.
Me: What's to hate about world wide conspiracy theories?
Bonnie: I don't know. It's a mystery.
Me: (You do realize I'm reading the Wikipedia article, and do not know such information off the top of my head? Though I am tempted to let you think I do.)
Bonnie: Wow.
I feel sheepish.
You were looking at Wikipedia the whole time and here I thought you were just brilliant!
I stand corrected.
Me: Now I'm sorry I corrected you. I like when people think I'm smart.
Bonnie: lol

A different friend of mine was recently telling me that she dislikes when I Google things while chatting with her. Once I am armed with the knowledge of the internet, I feel more comfortable talking about things authoritatively. This is a favorite past time of mine. But apparently, she feels like I am talking down to her.

And I'm not sure what to do with that. Obviously it's okay to let someone else be the expert sometimes. But... does that mean I should stop the searches? Can't I learn more from the broad spectrum of opinions that the internet has to offer than I can from hearing one single viewpoint?

So should I keep doing the searches but keep my findings to myself? Should I just cut them down to a more appropriate level? Or do I need to stop all together so I can live my own life and think my own thoughts?

I'm really not sure what the answer is here. Maybe I'll go ask Google.

Leaf peeping? Is that something we do now?

2010-10-03T20:20:00.006-06:00

So Martin is big into Christmas. She has a ton of Christmas decorations in big storage tubs up in a spare bedroom that we refer to as the "Christmas Room." Turns out, one of those tubs is full of autumn decorations. Which we put up this weekend!

The most awesome part is not a decoration at all. We've had a "Spice Market" candle burning all day and now our entire house smells like Thanksgiving. The smells are the best part of the holidays, don't you think?

My second favorite part is the lights. I talked Martin into a putting up a bunch of Halloween lights in our front windows. It's really hard to take pictures of twinkle lights, so this is the best I can do. They're warm and glow-y and awesome. I keep waiting to go get the mail until the sun goes down so I can see them in all their glory.

We strung fall leaves most any place we could think of. Woven into the chandelier, up the banister, on the ledge of our key rack, and in front of the television. You can probably guess by the very large, very angsty looking Edward Cullen that we were watching Twilight when I took this picture. I think it's best not to delve too deeply into how that decision got made.

Martin keeps referring to our cat Humphry as a 'decoration' just because he is black and it is October. I keep telling her she's being racist. Apparently she's okay with that. Here you can see him turning up his nose at the weird pumpkin-made-of-orange-flowers. Actually, he's probably just plotting to chew on it as soon as I leave the room.

I put some spooky spiders on this mirror in the entry way. It also fell prey to the fall foliage campaign. Actually, we just finally got around to hanging this mirror today specifically so we could decorate it. That's not weird, right?

We also sprinkled a few cheesy seasonal trinkets to round out the picture. A cheerful scarecrow, a tiny little crate of strange nature-y looking things, and a Halloween cat! (Humphry keeps knocking that one over. We think he is jealous.)

And last but not least, some adorable sock pumpkins my niece made for me last year. We tucked them into one of the DVD shelves next to Ghost Whisperer. It seem appropriate.

Guys. I know that was a ton of pictures of things you probably don't care that much about. But guess what? I WAS HOLDING BACK.

Just wait until the Christmas decorations start going up.

Hiking.

2010-09-18T18:51:00.004-06:00

So a while ago, Martin mentioned that we should go hiking sometime. I agreed, but the Arizona summer made it kind of impractical until just recently. Mostly because in July and August, the temperature jumps to 100 degrees the second the sun comes up.

But now it's cool enough in the wee hours of the morning that you can actually go outside without melting. You have until about 10 o'clock in the morning before you get back up into the 90s.

So I started looking. I looked high and low. But mostly online. I had high standards. A local hiking venue with established, clearly marked trails. It was a tall order, but I was committed to making this work. I did the research. I planned it all out.

But when I told Martin about it, she just stared at me blankly. "I didn't think you understand how this works," she sneered. "I suggest things, and we feel good about ourselves for our good intentions. Then we move on. I. Don't. Do. Things." Then she turned on her heel and made to storm off.

"Wait just a minute," I commanded. She froze at the tone of my voice. After all my awesome research, I wasn't willing to just let this go. "Be ready by 6:45 Saturday morning," I instructed. "We're doing this."

Now, once we got out on the trail I discovered something. I had assumed that since I am woefully out of shape, I would be the one holding us back. But as it turns out, Martin is a big fat baby. But we pulled each other through.

At one point we thought we had missed our turn off, and that we would be adding an extra three miles to our four mile hike. But just as we started looking for the second turn off, we found the first one... proving that we have absolutely no concept of distance. Like, at all.

In conclusion, we saw some nice views, we got awesome nice sun burns, and learned that we are nice hikers. Not very good at it, but still pretty nice.

Martin looked sick, stoned, or annoyed in all the pictures of her. So you get two of me instead. You are welcome, Internet.

Overreaction.

2010-09-04T13:08:00.004-06:00

I made the mistake of forcing Martin to watch Grey Gardens with me. It's kind of a bizarre film, but the relevant bit is that the two main characters end up living in a house that basically rots around them due to their own negligence. Well, that and a lot of cats.

And because we have cats and haven't vacuumed in a few weeks, she thinks we're turning into those people. And she keeps glaring at me when I leave my dirty plate in the living room.

Sigh.

It's not like I'm tossing empty cans in the corner of the room.

Compromises.

2010-08-26T15:51:00.005-06:00

Things which I yesterday promised to do for a five year old today:

Make grilled cheese sandwiches.

Paint her fingers and toes. Pink.

Bring my DVD of the Goofy Movie.

It was the only way I could get her to go to sleep. But, to be fair, they seemed like reasonable requests at the time.

Hairs Cut.

2010-08-17T11:12:00.006-06:00

I know you were all concerned about the state of my hair. Have no fear, I didn't give into my late night impulses to chop it off myself. I went to a professional.

It was possibly the most expensive hair cut I've ever gotten, but that's really not saying much considering I've only ever gone to beauty schools and Cost Cutters. She did an awesome job. Look! Layers!

Aaand now I have bangs. Again.

Anyway, I like it quite a bit. It's still long enough to do stuff with it, but I don't have to deal with all the weight of it.

I'm super hot. Just admit it.

For the record, I have three brothers and three sisters. This post is not about them. Well, except Martin for a little bit.

2010-08-13T23:18:00.010-06:00

So I convinced my sister Martin to go see Scott Pilgrim vs. the World with me. I had to promise to make it a double feature with Eat, Pray, Love to get her to come.* But it was worth it.

It was pretty awesome. Imagine a video game that is not based on a fantasy novel or an action movie ~~or, um, fraternal plumbers~~, but is instead based on a romantic comedy. Aaaand then they made it back into a movie. That's this film. (For clarity, Scott Pilgrim is a series of graphic novels which was concurrently developed into a film and also a video game which were released around the same time. That time is approximately now.)

There are lots of video game references that may have had some subtler meaning, but made sense and were enjoyable on a surface level as well. And Michael Cera has managed to escape some of his typecasting trend of playing a shy, quiet, dork. I mean, not by much, but a little bit. He's still a nice guy who's a little down on his luck, but he manages to man up and fight for the girl. And *spoiler* finds a little self-respect along the way.

I think it might have helped a lot that I was in a room full of very excited people while watching it. They laughed at every punchline, applauded at every victory. They clearly wanted to be there, and (if their vocalizations were anything to go by) they enjoyed the heck out of it.

I don't know if you will like it, but I sure did.

*This is completely the truth and I am in no way exaggerating Martin's passionate desire to see the film Eat, Pray, Love.

How To Install Your Garage Door With Confidence.

2010-08-11T11:50:00.004-06:00

Found sticking out of the VCR in the guest room at my parent's house.

It's not as bizarre as one might initially assume, since my dad has been building a garage for the last 10 years (...and has only recently gotten around to installing a garage door). But the title of the video just makes me giggle.

It sounds like an overly specific self-help video. Like "How to Make Friends While Trimming Your Mustache" or "Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior While Living In Madison, Wisconsin."

The News

2010-07-29T00:01:00.001-06:00

What they said: "Covering both sides fairly and accurately."

What I heard: "Covering both sides fairly inaccurately."

To be fair, I'm not sure my interpretation is that far off the mark...

A tip for living with cats.

2010-07-27T22:28:00.003-06:00

Martin's cats have an annoying habit of drinking out of any cup left unattended.

The trick to keeping your glass of water cat-free in this house is to leave a decoy cup. In most cases this needs to be a shorter cup with a high water-level, because it is easier for them to drink out of. Cats will always take the path of least resistance. It is science.

In which we build a thing.

2010-07-25T22:38:00.009-06:00

Martin and I did a lot of furniture shopping when we first moved into this house, but we never really got around to doing anything with the big living/dining room area. Last week Martin broke down and bought a coffee table and a console table that she'd been eying for a while. The new tables made the seating area a little less bare, but also made the big empty space opposite the couch seem even more empty. So we made the trek to IKEA on Friday and bought the most giant bookshelf we could find.

I was teasing Martin that she would never be able to put it together by herself, and she needed to be nice to me so I'd help. At which point she decided she would put it together on her own. (Actually I think this was because I told her I would buy her Eureka Season 3 if she did it on her own. And then I called her a "tiny little woman" and laughed at her).

So Saturday morning I went to the kitchen to make donut-muffins. She went to the living room to build a shelf. For about twenty minutes all I could hear was ripping cardboard noises and wood clanking together.

Aaaand... then she gave up and we finished the shelf together while my muffins baked. But it looked so empty, and we were super tired. So we just shoved whatever we had on hand into the little cubbys.
Cute, no?We did leave some empty ones on the bottom for Humphry. He likes to sit on shelves, especially black ones so he can be a chameleon. And if there is stuff in the way, he is not shy about making room by pushing stuff onto the floor.
The end.

Family Matters

2010-07-07T15:14:00.006-06:00

I was at my parents' house last weekend for such Independence Day festivities as: eating crap, blowing crap up, and a purely hypothetical game of Pregnant Lady Bingo. (Game cards featured such activities as: Make Her Cry During an Action Movie, Make Her Crave Gross Food Combinations, and Make Her Wet Herself While Laughing. Erm... hypothetical game cards, that is.) Um, anyway... my entire family ended up being there, mostly just hanging out. Which meant lots of babies and toddlers to keep an eye on.

Now, babies are cute and adorable things, but holding them can sometimes put a limit on which activities you can actively participate in. At one point we were playing a card game, and my youngest brother--age 15--ended up with one of the babies. He was struggling to keep her in check and keep track of the game at the same time, so he asked if someone with "baby skills" could take over. To which I replied "Oh, don't be so hard on yourself! Of course you have the skills of a baby!" Hee. I'm sooo funny. (He thought so too.)

Anyway, then Mean Mommy started bragging about her "skills of an artist," and things went downhill from there.
In other news, look at the baby dragon! Such a cute little burninator. Yes he is! *tickles his little feetsies*

Doing Stuff #4

2010-06-27T01:06:00.007-06:00

I finally got around to painting my room today. I bought the paint shortly after I moved to Arizona, but I never had the motivation to get it done until today. I dragged Martin upstairs to entertain me while I worked.

It was a long project. We ended up watching Peggy Sue Got Married, an episode or two of Psych, Annie Get Your Gun, and Newsies. Martin only got moderately annoyed with me when I started to not only sing along, but also to quote the characters' lines before they got to them.

Please don't be duped into thinking Martin helped at all. She mostly lounged in my bed and mocked me while I toiled away.

As punishment for this, I am posting pictures of her. I would have just posted the one to demonstrate how unhelpful she was, but this is the best picture of the finished project, so it is getting posted too.

For the most part, I like the way it turned out. (Except a teeny-tiny part of me that is convinced it I chose a horrible, terrible, awful shade of blue. But it is a small part.)

Once I get some stuff on the walls, it will tame down the sheer blue-ness of the room. Because right now, even if it is a good color, it's really blue. When my bed is unmade, the blue sheets do not help. Maybe this will be good motivation for me to keep my bed made.

But, realistically... probably not. :)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

This concludes my posts about doing stuff. I hope you have enjoyed them. Tune in next week (or month...?) for more exciting adventures! Same blog time, same blog channel!

Doing Stuff #3

2010-06-27T01:04:00.003-06:00

Martin and I have been putting our blender to good use battling the Arizona heat. We make frozen hot chocolate and watermelon-strawberry smoothies, and sometimes random milkshakes with whatever we want in them (usually strawberries for Martin and some combination of peanut butter and chocolate for me).

The milkshakes don't get a picture because we don't have cute glasses big enough to hold them in their entirety. They always end up being enormous. And we always feel sick afterwords. Turns out sometimes our blender is bigger than our stomachs.

Doing Stuff #2

2010-06-27T01:03:00.001-06:00

I got to babysit a couple of my nieces this last week while my brother and his wife got in a temple trip. Being the awesome aunt I am, I magically got the youngest one to fall asleep instantly. I also let the older one watch Dora the Explorer and eat all the cookies she wanted.

Turns out she wanted quite a few.

I am the best aunt ever.

Doing Stuff #1

2010-06-26T23:55:00.016-06:00

So I've been doing some stuff lately. I wrote out the hugest, longest, most picture-filled blog post ever, but I decided to break it up into four bite-sized pieces. Please enjoy.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

First off, I threw a baby shower for my little sister. It kind of made me a little crazy, but turned out pretty awesome. I was mostly excited about making fun food.

But Martin helped me to come up with some fun games and decorations too. This is me measuring Faybe at the nail-biting conclusion of the traditional "Guess How Fat She Is!" game.

(In case you are confused by the angle of that picture, she was satisfactorily fat.)

Sunday School

2010-06-13T13:24:00.001-06:00

What I heard: "Sandwiches on the sea shore."

What they said: "Sand which is on the sea shore."

I didn't really hear anything after that. I was too busy thinking about picnics on the beach.

We've Got Cabin Fever!

2010-06-05T17:58:00.006-06:00

So my mom and I have been staying with my grandparents for a week now. My mom tends to get a little stir crazy when she stays with her parents, often dragging me with her so she can get out and DO something. So I wasn't especially surprised to hear her yesterday, making dinner plans with someone on the phone. I assumed it was with some old acquaintance still living in the area.

And in a way, I was right.

Me: Hot date?

Mom: Yep.

Me: Oh yeah? Who with?

Mom: Steve.

Me: ...Steve?

Mom: Yeah, Steve [Last name].

Me: ...The guy you were engaged to before you married Daddy?

Mom: Yep, that's the one.

Me: And... you're having dinner with him?

Mom: Yeah.

Me: ...

Mom: What? His wife will be there.

Me: Okay, that's even weirder.

The Grand Old Duke of York.

2010-05-08T01:22:00.013-06:00

I'm searching for a job right now. It is a frustrating process, but I think I've pinned down exactly what the problem is: too much hope.

I've been looking at a lot of help-wanted listings, and sorting out the positions for which I am qualified. Then I thin those down to just the ones I'm actually willing to do (and I don't think I'm being especially picky here--the biggest issue is location/commute).

During this vetting process each week, I usually turn up a few leads. With the good ones, I start to get a little excited. I imagine getting up every morning and going to these jobs. And I convince myself I am exactly what they're looking for.

I envision myself working there, and earning a paycheck. And I see myself engaging in frivolous behavior like buying things, and building my savings, and affording health insurance. And on this natural high of possibility and opportunity, I make calls of inquiry, and fill out applications, and set up interviews.

And wait.

And then I get turned down, or ignored, or passed over.

Which kind of sucks.
And for a while I think, no other job can be as perfect as that one would have been.

But then some new listing piques my interest, and the vicious cycle starts again. This would be a lot easier if I were less invested in the jobs I apply for. But then, the trade-off would be long-term misery when I finally get hired by them.

So I guess I choose this method for now. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

Eye of the Beholder.

2010-04-29T23:53:00.005-06:00

I think my eyes have changed color.

I had an assignment in high school to write a descriptive essay about my eyeball. Not about the shape, the lashes, or the lid, but just the literal, actual eyeball. I remember it being a pretty hard assignment for me at the time, but it did give me an occasion to study my eyes pretty closely.

This is what I remember describing in great detail:

But now my eyes seem significantly less... brown. More like this:

What is that? Is that even possible? Do people's eyes just up and change color? What do you even call that color? Brownish-green? Hazel? I refuse to except that. I have brown eyes! MY EYES ARE BROWN! Nobody writes songs about their Ambiguously-Colored Eyed Girl.

Let's just hope this is a bad eye week and things will be back to normal soon. Because I don't think I can handle this.

"Only perfect practice makes perfect."

2010-04-29T01:02:00.005-06:00

The quest for perfection is not about never making mistakes, or always choosing the right thing. It is more about becoming whole and complete. It is about becoming the woman I want to be. It is about looking at the person I am now and seeing how I can become better. And that's the key word for me: better.

My issue with perfection comes into play here. I look at all the things I love and in many cases see a "better" choice. The question is not “Can I do this and still be a good person?” but rather “Does doing this make me a better person?”

And that's where I stall. There are tons of things that I enjoy, and part of me is defined by them. If I give them up to become “better,” am I giving up too much? Am I giving up a part of me? Right now, I am not willing to do that. And a part of me knows that's okay, life is a refining process. I'm not supposed to become perfect all at once.

But... why the heck not? Why shouldn't I be perfect all at once? If I already know who the ideal me is, why shouldn't I become her now? Why am I not strong enough to throw off the things holding me back?

That's why I think I get frustrated sometimes. The things that I want right now do not mesh with my idealized best self. I should not want to cling to my vices so tightly, but I do. I like them. They define me. And until I am willing to give them up, I cannot be perfect.

And I don't know how to resolve that internal tension.

p.s.: In trying to brainstorm this out, I made a bunch of images to help me visualize what I thought perfection was. They kind of contradict each other, as I was arguing back and forth with myself. A lot of it had to do with deciding if perfection was a binary state. I'm not really going to explain them, but I figured I would add them on the end for funsies.

Best Scripture Ever? (Alternative View)

2010-04-25T18:41:00.002-06:00

God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn. -Numbers 23:22

Best Scripture Ever?

2010-04-25T18:33:00.003-06:00

God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn. -Numbers 23:22

IMHO

2010-04-19T22:36:00.004-06:00

So I took this Narcissism Quiz today (which I found through this post).

After answering the questions, I got this result:

Now, considering the 'normal' threshold starts at 12, I am kind of surprised at how low my score is. I'm glad I'm not super narcissistic, but I'm not sure what the alternative is. Does this mean I'm humble? Or have low self-esteem?

Now, of course, this quiz is not perfect (though I think it is at least one step up from a Facebook quiz... but maybe not). Also, these results are based on my answers and therefore subject to a lot of my own personal biases. But still, It's got to indicate something. I'm not sure what to make of it.

What do you guys think?

Awesome, part 1

2010-04-16T09:40:00.006-06:00

Martin and I ordered pizza the other day. There was a deal for 2 medium, 1-topping pizzas, so that's what we ordered. One with mushrooms, and one with green peppers.

When they came, one had mushrooms, pepperoni, and (oddly enough) a single piece of sausage. The other was predominately green pepper with a few random pineapple chunks.

Now, this seems like poor customer service, right? We should call and complain, right?

Except... we kind of liked it. It was exciting. Martin and I are both poor decision makers. (We don't make poor decisions, we just make decisions poorly.) So having no control over what goes on our pizza was kind of fun. And we got a few extra toppings for free.

Awesome.

Awesome, part 2

2010-04-16T09:12:00.006-06:00

In other news, Martin bought some new furniture recently. We needed to move the old couch out of the way before the new stuff got delivered, so we decided it should go in the library (as I am pretentiously calling the upstairs loft area). When I realized this would entail carrying a couch UPSTAIRS, I was trying to think of who I could call to help me.

I would like to point out that Martin is a featherweight. Like, a complete pansy. As she would say, "I have muscles, they're just not very big." So having her help me was kind of out of the question. I figured I'd have time to come up with something before the delivery date, which wasn't going to be for a while.

But. Yesterday the store called us and told us our new furniture had come in early, and could they deliver it that night? Eek!

But you know who's awesome? Martin! We totally carried a couch. Upstairs. By ourselves!

Awesome.

Wine Key?

2010-04-15T13:11:00.003-06:00

My new job requires me to carry this at all times:

However, as of yet, they do not require me to know what it is for or how to use it.

Conversations Among Sisters.

2010-04-08T09:00:00.001-06:00

So I'm thinking about trying to possibly get around to maybe looking for a job now that I'm officially settled in. As part of this, I've been working on my résumé.

Yesterday I asked my eldest sister, Mean Mommy, to look over portions of it and give me some advice. Apparently she and Martin were chatting at the same time because...

Martin: Why are you having [Mean Mommy] help with your résumé?

What, my expertise isn't good enough for you?

Me: Nope.

What kind of jobs have you ever gotten with your résumé?

She was clearly the better choice here

Martin: What?

I have a job!

She didn't need her resume for having kids!

Me: :)

I continued my chat with Mean Mommy in the other window...

Me: Martin says having kids isn't a job

And requires no skill

Mean Mommy: :|

Me: I know! I'm so glad I didn't ask her to help.

Mean Mommy: Yeah. She has a crappy 'government' job. Who wants that?

I can only imagine the conversation held between them after that, but soon enough...

Martin: Tattling on me?

Me: I thought [Mean Mommy] should know what you really think of her.

Martin: I just said she didn't need a resume.

Not that having kids wasn't a job.

Which it isn't.

me: !

Anyway. Apparently I like sewing seeds of discord.

And also posting private conversations without getting permission first.

Or asking forgiveness after, for that matter.

My legacy?

2010-04-06T23:05:00.007-06:00

Googling my name is way less awesome than it used to be. There used to be a clunky little webpage for a book club I was in. There used to be a passing reference to me in my school district's newsletter describing me as an AP scholar with distinction. There used to be a list titled "People I fre@kin Love" on the personal website of an old friend; I was one of those fre@kin people. Now all of those things have disappeared.

Also, my name used to be mine. Now there is some new chick with my name popping up everywhere. She must have gotten married recently, 'cause she didn't exist before. Now she's all the sudden #1! I've been me my whole life, but she gets the first result! With her MySpace of all things! (Outrage!)

There are only four actual references to me anymore. One is my Facebook profile, two are comments I've made about the 100 Hour Board, and one is a credit for a short film project I "acted" in. That is apparently all the Internet knows about me.

I am unlikely to go around posting things under my full name just to change this, though. I should feel lucky for what I do have. Most people don't have a name uncommon enough to google themselves anyway.

I guess I am resigned.

But still.

Bummer.

The Distracting Artful Edit.

2010-03-27T01:46:00.009-06:00

I recently read somewhere that "it is hard to say what you really mean without having another go - an indulgence daily life seldom allows." [Be more specific about source? Is link necessary?]

I think this is one of the reasons I like digital mediums for communication so much. [Reconsider word choice: "mediums for communication"?] I can take time to decide what I want to say, punch it up with some witty humor, revise and rethink, and then when I am finally satisfied, ~~publish~~ hit send. Of course, sometimes I still say something dumb, but at least there are a few extra safeguards to keep my foot out of my mouth.

I don't have a major problem talking to good friends ~~in person~~. For one, they know me well enough to still like me even if I say something ridiculous, and I will eventually have a chance to correct any errant assumptions they logically derive from my thoughtless assertions. [wordy; consider simplifying]

But around strangers, I get flustered. As we know, some people's good opinions once lost, are lost forever [Pride and Prejudice reference? Really necessary?]. Sometimes I start talking just because I feel ~~inclined~~ pressured to say something, and end up saying something I don't mean at all. Or I say something that makes sense in my head, but to a newcomer uninitiated to the inner workings of my twisted mind, it is altogether senseless. Sometimes I'll even end up deliberately saying something completely contrary to my own opinion just to push the conversation forward in an interesting direction. [insert humorous incident here]

Texting, IMing, blogging, and emailing all give me a chance to reflect before I commit myself to speaking (though I admit I may not always take advantage of that opportunity). While I find this enormously comforting, I worry it means I have even less practice expressing myself in true conversation. [Are so-called "digital" conversations less valid?] Maybe it's a crutch, but one I can't really separate myself from.

And now, for lack of a better way to end this post, a baby eating its own foot:

[Baby ending = cop out. Reconsider a solid closing paragraph that will bring post to an obvious conclusion about ideas discussed.]

Some postman is gonna cry.

2010-03-22T17:06:00.004-06:00

I have lived in seven different dwellings here in Provo. In that time, I have seen a lot of misdirected mail. I am always most surprised when bank statements or other official looking mail comes for people who moved years ago. If it looks especially important, I'll mark 'Moved' on it and send it back, but otherwise I'll just trash it. That's probably illegal or something, but I really don't have time to deal with all of the catalogs and insurance advertisements that end up in my mail box.

I have never wanted my personal information hanging out on somebody's coffee table, so in most cases I have always used my parent's address and opted for online notifications where ever possible. I think it's worked pretty well (although for all I know there could be a trail of junk mail with my name on it all across Provo).

Since I feel like my move to Arizona (at the end of this week!) will be pretty permanent, I have been actually updating my address at my bank, on my license and a few other places. This makes me feel very grown up.

I am also now an organ donor. All I had to do was check a box. I'm not sure how I feel about this, but all I had to do was check a box, and I couldn't not do it. So there it is.

I feel like "ADULT" is now stamped in red letters across my forehead. Except in a non-XXX sort of way.

Conversation with Martin about the census.

2010-03-21T00:01:00.000-06:00

Martin: Hey, are you including yourself on your census?
Or should I put you on mine?
It says as of April 1, so I thought I would check

Me: Um, there's a thing that says census in a pile of crap on the bookcase.

Martin: Yes.

Me: So... chances are I will not be on it.

Martin: Okay.

Me: I don't really care though.

Martin: !
Haven't you seen the commercials?

Me: Nobody cares about censuses except for lame history geeks.
Also, no I haven't, what commercials?

Martin: The economy will collapse, volcanoes will erupt, and Hitler will come back to life if you don't do it!
And also, it's illegal to ignore it.
Plus, you are a lame history geek.

Me: Yeah, it says that on the envelope.

Martin: You thought you would test it?

Me: What are they gonna do?
Send someone to everyone's door asking questions about the census?!
Wait... there might be something to that...

Friday Reflection: Our Cultural Shorthand.

2010-03-19T00:01:00.001-06:00

Last semester in one of my classes, the professor asked about the the meaning behind a student's shirt. I glanced at it and immediately understood it was a ThunderCats t-shirt. My professor, on the other hand, had assumed it must have been some sort of sports thing.

A brief discussion established that the ThunderCats were smack in the middle of a pop-culture blind spot for our professor. He was too old to have watched the show, and his kids were too young. He had no reason to be exposed to it, and therefore did not understand a symbol that most in our class could instantly identify.

I wonder what kind of pop-culture references I miss simply because I am unaware of them. Often I recognize when a allusion is made that I don't understand. For example, I am 85% likely to not understand a Simpsons reference. My mom didn't like the show and discouraged us from watching it while I was growing up.

What references I do catch are based on more recent exposure, and I'm not sure I really grasp the depth of the cultural bond. It's not something that comes naturally to me, but rather something I've made a conscious decision to be aware of. Am I really participating in the shared cultural understanding if I've only skimmed the Wikipedia article?

I fear I have an even larger blind spot that I'm not even aware of, primarily because most of the friends I've made while at BYU are Mormon. There is a large portion of media that we, as a group, limit our exposure to. This leads to a myriad of things that I don't even realize I don't understand.

I watched the Godfather for the first time a while ago. Suddenly a million little references and quotes and parodies floating around in my head made sense. I did not understand the deep roots this film has in our popular culture until I actually experienced the source material.

So the question is: Am I okay with this lack of understanding? In the last year or so, I've attempted to delve into some of the prolific material that I've previously abstained from. And the thing is, not all of it is worth understanding. Some of it is complete crap. I honestly wish I didn't know why people chuckle when someone says “This one time, at band camp...”

Another example: having noticed several mentions of the new show Archer around the internet, I watched several episodes so I could be conversant in this up-and-coming popular cultural element. And while the show is funny, and people have been taking about it, it's also pretty dirty.

I need to find a balance. How much am I willing to miss out on, culturally? How much am I willing to expose myself to, personally? These are easy decisions to make after the fact; the trick is knowing where the line is before I cross it.

Target Practice

2010-03-08T13:26:00.003-07:00

"I used to bull's-eye wombats in my T-16 back home. They're not much bigger than two meters." -Luke Skywalker

I think Luke was simply horrible to shoot at these adorable creatures. I think this was clearly a sign of a troubled childhood. No wonder he grew up to join some mystical religious cult.

Friday Reflection: A Two Way Street

2010-03-05T22:53:00.004-07:00

My sister Martin and I chat online nearly every single day. She sits at her desk all day doing her boring government job, so when I sign in she gets really excited. I'm pretty sure I am the best part of her day.

Actually, I wonder how close I would be with any of my sisters if it weren't for the internet. Any of my return missionary friends will tell you I'm crap at writing letters. Also, I'm just not big on talking on the phone. I've gotten better at it, but for the most part I don't do chatty phone calls.

A friend of mine moved back home for the summer after her first year away at college. She ended up getting really stir-crazy, and her solution was to get me to entertain her. She used to call all the time just to chat. This was problematic for me because, while I wouldn't necessarily mind chatting for ten minutes, there was no finite cap on the chat-time. She'd keep me on the phone forever even when we had nothing to say.

I ended up coming up with lame excuses to get her off the line. I had to go switch my laundry, or a neighbor had just knocked on the door. These sounded more reasonable than the truth: that I'd really rather go back to reading my book or napping or whatever non-activity I had been involved with when she called. The problem was she'd just call back a day or two later to 'finish our conversation.'

Eventually I confessed to her my discomfort about the telephone. We came up with a code phrase I could use to let her know that while I still liked her as a person, I would rather break every bone in my ankle than remain on the telephone any longer. (For the record, I am irrationally terrified of breaking my ankle.) The phrase, for some reason, was "I have to go save my cat from the garbage disposal." This is weird. I know.

Anyway. Thank goodness for the internet. Without it, I'd probably only talk to my sisters a few times a year. And heaven knows they make my life more exciting. How else would I have gotten through these past years of living in Utah of all places?

(That one was for you, Martin.)

Friday Reflection: The Curious Incident

2010-02-26T14:17:00.001-07:00

A friend and I were making final decisions about the various clothing items we had collected when I recognized the musical strains floating through the deserted store as a song I had recently become enamored with (White Sky by Vampire Weekend). After exclaiming to my companion about the awesomeness of the song, we proceeded to the check out stand where the obviously bored clerk seemed excited by the prospect of interacting! With real humans!

Apparently, Wednesday morning is not a busy time for the retail world.

She was pretty talkative and commented at one point on how weird the store's music was. Having just mentioned to my friend how I liked the current song, I felt obligated to defend it as one of my recent favorites. She looked flustered for a second before admitting that maybe this song was okay, but there was some definitely weird stuff in the store's musical selection. To prove her point she cited a particular song that went on about handstands and strawberries. I got inside-excited at this point because I knew she was referring to Bruises by Chairlift. It's an adorable song I happened across a while ago that has since made its way into many a playlist in my collection. I asked if that was it, and she admitted it was. Instead of being embarrassed about having accidentally-maybe-backhandedly insulted a customer's musical proclivities twice, she launched into a giggly, chipmunk-style rendition of the song; a humorous way of defending her perception of the song without arguing with me about my opinion. Nicely done.

It was a weird interaction, especially considering I try to not make eye contact with people I don't know, and rarely engage in chit-chat with cashiers. Way to go Marni from Old Navy, you managed to drag me out of my shell. Plus, you made me feel capable of conversing about music, which I typically don't consider myself informed enough to do.

Friday Reflection: Well Done, Sister Suffragette.

2010-02-19T14:39:00.002-07:00

As a history major, I've had a lot of opportunity to think about women in history. There seems to be two different categories: women who did things and became famous because they were women, and women who did things and became famous because of those things.

I'll give you two examples. Elizabeth Blackwell was the first acknowledged female to be awarded an M. D.. What she did (going to medical school) is significant because she was a woman. Nellie Bly was a journalist who committed herself to an insane asylum to report on conditions for patients. What she did (pioneering investigative journalism) is significant despite her gender.

I have tendency to disregard the Elizabeth Blackwells as somehow less important than the Nellie Blys. I think this is partly because in some warped version of feminism, I try to eliminate gender as a factor in historical context. Many men had studied medicine and it was no surprise that a woman could do so as well. Blackwell was no more special or talented than the men who preceded her or the thousands of women who have since become doctors. The fact that we celebrate her accomplishment more than others seems sexist to me. "Oh wow! A woman doctor! That's something you'd never expected to see! What a curiosity!"

This, of course, is ridiculous. One of the hardest lessons I have learned is that history does not exist in a vacuum. I can't just eliminate factors and variables because my modern perspective tells me they should be insignificant. Blackwell lived in a time when societal gender roles placed enormous limitations on opportunities for women in the professional world, and Blackwell lead the way for all those who followed in her footsteps.

Women's history is tricky because of the limited resources we have to study them. I guess another aspect I have trouble with is how the few women we do know about seem overrepresented. What about the countless other unnamed women from the past who have made significant contributions to the narrative of history? Why on earth do we celebrate Betsy Ross (allegedly) sewing a simple flag when there are so many women who must have made more substantial contributions to the Revolutionary War? And the simple answer is that we can't celebrate those things that we don't know about. So maybe we can celebrate these unknown women symbolically through the few we do know. I think I'm okay with that.

Friday Reflection: A New Leaf?

2010-02-12T01:45:00.000-07:00

Freshman year of high school I had an amazing English teacher who challenged me in every aspect of her class. Every week we had to submit three short "journal entries" that could be on whatever topic we chose. The next week we would get them back with two grades—one for grammar and one for content. I still have no idea what her grading criteria were, but they frustrated me to no end.

Admittedly, I usually cranked these reflections out three-at-a-time during my lunch period every Friday (I never was one for planning ahead). That probably explains why I never got 'A's on my grammar, but the content grades drove me nuts. Since she gave us no criteria for what to write on, I had no clue what to say. But I knew I had to write them. In my attempts to sound sophisticated and win that content-based A, I inevitably ended up with rambling, childish attempts to say something significant and poignant. I think I missed the point, really.

I wasn't supposed to be recording earth-shattering revelations that would paint the world in a new light for readers. I was just supposed to get used to writing. Whether I used the space to recall thoughts, foster new ones, or just entertain my reader, writing was the key. Taking an idea and putting it into words. As I look back, I regret wasting that opportunity by cramming it into a half-hour of frantic typing each week.

I keep thinking I should use this blog to do more writing. Truth be told, I'm still not sure I have anything worth while to say. But the ability to express my thoughts is important to me, so I'm going to try something new. One reflection a week, posted on Fridays. I'll try to keep the length between 300 and 500 words. I invite anyone reading this to join me. If you do, let me know, I'd love to read your stuff! I promise not to leave comments grading you based on grammar OR content.

My Two-hundredth Post

2010-01-25T16:30:00.005-07:00

I was named after a childhood friend of my mother. I've only met her a few times. This is her.

I know a few things about her. For one, she's a ballet dancer. Or was. She came to visit once when I was really young. She gave me a musical spinning ballerina figurine. It was a fragile thing to give a young child, so my mom hid it away in the back of her closet. Sometimes I used to sneak in and wind it up and look at it. I wonder what happened to it.

Also, she's deaf. She's really good at lip reading and vocalizing. I can't imagine the difficulties of being a dancer without being able to hear the music.

I was googling her today. I found out her middle name is Sue. Also, she's an artist. This is one of her... paintings? drawings? I'm not really sure.

Anyway, I think it's pretty cool.

But it's strange to me that there's this woman I'm supposed to have some sort of connection with. I don't know her at all.

My One-hundred-and-ninety-ninth Post

2009-12-27T16:28:00.000-07:00

So as many of you know, my little sister Faybe got married a year ago.

Yep, that's her and her hubby. This week she told me that she's pregnant. This is exciting news, of course. It also means that 3 out of 3 of my married siblings are having babies in 2010 (and 0/3 of my unmarried siblings are, for the record). Congrats, you guys.

But it seems my family are not the only ones obsessed with babies in 2010. Does anyone else find the concept of the upcoming movie Babies a little disturbing?

It pretty much just documents the lives of four babies for their first year of life. So the audience can see how cute they are. That's basically it. The title pretty much says it all. Weird.

My One-hundred-and-ninety-eighth Post

2009-12-23T21:22:00.002-07:00

After our family moved to Tucson, Faybe and I always shared a room together. It made complete sense logistically to group us together, and we never had many major line-down-the-middle-of-the-room problems, aside from her strange affinity for a 101 Dalmatians poster that I could not abide.

We stuck together until Martin moved out and Faybe claimed her own little cave of a room on the opposite side of the house. Which was fine--we were both glad to have our own space for some of those dramatic teenage years.

After she moved out, my mom and I began a summer-long remodel of what was now my room. We pulled out the brown speckled shag carpet and laid wood floors. We stripped the popcorn off the ceiling and replastered it. We put up base boards and moulding. We planned and painted and decorated. It turned out pretty nice, if I do say so myself.

But here's the thing. When I come home to visit I stay in the same room I've slept in since I was 11, but it is not the room of my childhood. It's different. And sometimes I wish I could go back to visit. I miss that gross shag carpet and that stupid poster. I miss staying up talking with Faybe until we drifted off listening to my cassette tape collection.

But when all is said and done, I supposed I'm grateful for the big, soft, fluffy bed (which I'm currently stretch out across). It makes reminiscing so comfortable. The squeaky twin bed of yore would be much less conducive to my nostalgia.

My One-hundred-and-ninety-seventh Post

2009-12-22T21:11:00.003-07:00

For the last several weeks I've been trying to come up with something clever to say about the similarities in names of

Rob Pattinson:

and Pat Robertson:

I mean, there's got to be a pun or a play on words or something in there. Right?

No? To much of a stretch?

My One-hundred-and-ninety-sixth Post

2009-10-12T10:42:00.006-06:00

Many food blogs have recipes recommendations at the bottom of their posts. These can be similar food items, complimentary menu ideas, or sometimes throw backs (recipes that were featured on the same day in years pasts, for example). I like this concept, because it gives me pointed direction into the archives of a site that might otherwise be overwhelming.

Our Best Bites is one of my favorite food blogs. I frequent a lot of these types of blogs, but this one just speaks to me. The thing is, I can't figure out for the life of me how they determine their end-of-post recommendations. I was looking at a recipe for breadsticks today, and this was at the end:

Um, this cracks me up. None of these recipes is logically connected to breadsticks: they're not bread recipes, general baking recipes, Italian recipes, or even basic side dish recipes. So, I might like these suggestions based on... what criteria, exactly? That I appear to be a carbon-based lifeform that likes food? "Mangoes" isn't even a recipe! It's an ingredient!

The widget the site is using is LinkWithin, which claims it will help you "link to related stories from your blog archive." Methinks it still needs some work, though

My One-hundred-and-ninety-fifth Post

2009-10-10T15:41:00.002-06:00

International titles of the television show Growing Pains, translated:

China: The Frustrations of Growing Up
Taiwan: Happy Family
France: What Is New, Doctor?
Germany: Our Loud Home
Italy: Parents In Blue Jeans
Japan: Happy Seaver's Family
Latin America: Ouch! How Painful Is Growing Up
Poland: Our Kids, Trouble and Us
Spain: The Problems Grow
Sweden: Dad Knows Best

My One-hundred-and-ninety-fourth Post

2009-10-06T12:45:00.003-06:00

So the clock on my computer likes to do this weird thing. It kind of just keeps adding new numbers on top of the old ones instead of replacing them. Like this:

Isn't that amusing? I think that deserves a blog post all by itself.

I'm to lazy to look it up / fix my clock most of the time, so I often don't know what time it is while I'm on my computer. It's easiest just to ask someone else. I've recently started asking who ever I'm chatting with about the time. Most people just tell me, but some people are mean about it. People like my sister Martin.

Martin: Get a watch.
Me: :| But I have a computer, which is awesomer.
Martin: But apparently can't tell you the time.
Me: Did I :| you yet?
Martin: Yes?
Me: I don't think I did.
Me: :|

My One-hundred-and-ninety-third Post

2009-08-22T12:07:00.005-06:00

Things my sister Martin has promised if I move in with her after I graduate (compiled by searching our chat history for the phrases "if you lived here," "if you lived with me," "if you moved to Phoenix," etc):

She will no longer be the de facto favorite sister/aunt just because she lives significantly closer to the family than I do.
She will watch any past, current, or future Terminator movies with me.
She will always have pie for me.
She will let me use her Blu-Ray player, giant TV, and StarGate Blu-Ray any time I want.
She will give me her laptop.
She will let me get a puppy or kitty.
She will let me make chicken noodle soup for her.
She will let me scare off her friends by alienating them with threatening text messages.
She will eat my baked goods.
She will bake me chocolate round cake, with strawberries in the middle.
She will expect me to keep cake in the house at all times.
She will make sure my birthday is way cooler than it has been in Provo (metaphorically, not temperature-wise).
She will buy me a couch that I can keep in her dining room.
She will not protect my stuffed squirrel army from her cats.
She will switch to a 2 bedroom apartment.
She will not allow any of my stuff out of my room because it will clash with her "pretty decor".
She will buy a fancy set of cookware.
She will share her pumpkin spice cake with me.
She will visit me from work.
She will let me live with her rent free if I kill any scorpions we encounter.
She will provide me with tortillas
She will write scary limericks on her food to warn me not to eat it.
She will provide me with peaches.
She will take me to the grocery store or, realistically, give me her car keys.
She will hide all the good food in her closet.
She will play with me except during homework time and actual work time. Mostly just for a few hours in the evening and on weekends.
She will support me / let me mooch off her.
She will never have to throw away her Australian liquorice.
She will let me eat ice cream for dinner every day.
She will help me conduct a controlled study to compare the ice cream experience of Provo with that of Phoenix.
She will feed me black beans, rice, chicken, salsa, corn, cheese, and sour cream.
She will have instant access to my DVD collection and vice versa.

Many of them involve food, which is fairly indicative of our relationship, I think. Some of these are incentives to move there, and some are deterrents. Some of them are bizarre and can not rightly be classified as a incentive or deterrent. Also, some are contradictory.

What do you think? Should I accept her proposal? Or wait and see what else she's willing to offer?

My One-hundred-and-ninety-second Post

2009-08-14T11:31:00.004-06:00

So I dyed my hair blonde last night...

But I think something went wrong.

My One-hundred-and-ninety-first Post

2009-05-12T23:18:00.003-06:00

Pictures of Everything: Installment 5

Holy crap! How did they do that?

My One-hundred-and-ninetieth Post

2009-04-19T16:39:00.009-06:00

10 tips for having fun at the movies

Know your companion: Are you going with a date? A friend? A group of people? Giggley girls? [Your mom!] These are important factors to be aware of.
Pick your movie wisely: It doesn't have to be a great movie, but it does need to be something that piques your interest. Also take into account your companions: if they're not fans of scary movies, don't make them go to one unless you're prepared to leave with fingernail marks imprinted in your arm. If your friends are movie snobs, stay away from the generic preteen movies. (Save them for others who will appreciate them more--like me!) If you know you're just going to talk or make fun of it the whole time, wait until it's been out for a few weeks so those who want to take it seriously will have their chance (or at least go to a really late showing so you'll disturb fewer people).
Bring a sweater and a big purse: Movie theaters can get really cold, and unless you want an excuse to snuggle up to your companion, come prepared. And the bag is an important preparation to for the next step.
Go to a gas station or grocery store: Making this quick stop will save you a ton of money when it comes to concessions. Pick out whatever junk food strikes your fancy. It's important to have a good balance between sugary/salty and fruity/chocolatey treats. Don't forget drinks! I always grab a water bottle even if I'm also getting a juice or soda. Be sure to try something new! One of the best discoveries I ever made came from grabbing something randomly off the shelf: Toffifay! Just make sure you have enough room to smuggle everything in: don't let your eyes get bigger than your pockets! [Bonus! Buy Pop Rocks to eat during the car chase or the magical transformation scene. Anything's better with Pop Rocks]
Get there ahead of time: Though the previews are an important part of the experience, even more critical here is your seat selection. Getting there early lets you have more choices and ensure you can sit together. I like to get center seats that are far enough back that I don't have to turn my head to see the whole screen at once. Plus you'll have a chance to talk with your companion a bit before the show!
Silence your cell phone: Don't forget (like you could with all the "friendly" reminders), and don't just put it on vibrate. Even a vibrating phone can still distract you (at best) or might even drag you down into the despicable sin of texting during a movie (at worst). The only exception to this rule is if you're a mom with a babysitter at home--then vibrate is acceptable.
Be courteous: Make sure you have fun, but don't interfere with the experience of others. The golden rule absolutely applies in movie theaters. If people keep shooting you dirty looks you should knock off what ever it is you're doing. Seriously. Right now. I will cuht you. And maybe call sekhurity.
Don't ever leave early: This is why step 2 is so important. If you know you're the type to get squeamish or easily offended, don't go to movies that make you squirm and wince. Once you've paid for the movie, you might as well see it through to the end. It will give you resolution so at least you won't wonder for the rest of your life if the end could possibly be as bad as the beginning. Sometimes movies surprise you, and that's a good thing. If nothing else, it's rude to your companions to deny them that resolution, even if you don't think you need it.
Don't bolt: Stay through the first 3 minutes of credits, at least. It will give you time to digest the ending and evaluate how you feel about the film as a whole. Also, since you got their early enough to get good seats, you're probably sitting in the middle. If you wait until after the mass exodus of people from the theater, you won't have to climb over and trample people to get out. The only vaild exception is if you really need to use the restroom--then get out as soon as you can because there will be a line. There's always a line.
Pick up after yourself: It takes you very little effort to toss your cups and wrappers on the way out of the theater. Do the cleaning crew this small service: I can't imagine its fun to pick up after slobs.

My One-hundred-and-eighty-ninth Post

2009-04-06T11:53:00.005-06:00

This image was on The Daily Universe's front page this morning. Shortly after I picked one up, they pulled all copies of it from campus. I wonder why.

My One-hundred-and-eighty-eighth Post

2009-03-31T00:01:00.000-06:00

Okay, sometimes I wonder about some of the pictures I have saved on my computer. For example:

Did I go through some phase where I was obsessed with old-timey children's television programs? And I just... don't remember? Was it a project I was working on? I couldn't have been that important if I have no memory of it. OR. Or this could be some cryptic message I left for myself before having my memory erased to protect those I love from the horrors that the encoded information might bring forth? But why did I leave some clue to it behind? Maybe... maybe it is important. WHY DID I SAVE THESE? This is going to drive me insane.

My One-hundred-and-eighty-seventh Post

2009-03-29T21:27:00.003-06:00

A few random tidbits of info I've been collecting:

Did you know that in yeast breads, the role of sugar is to promote yeast growth, while salt's role is to control it.
A better synonym of "condone" is "overlook" rather than "support," as many think.
Botanically speaking, the banana is a herb. Also, try to work the phrase "botanically speaking" into your next conversation. Fun times.
There are four types of marriages: monogamy, polygyny/polygymy, polyandry, and group marriage. (Monogamy is one wife, one husband. Polygyny is one husband, several wives. Polyandry is one wife, several husbands. Group marriage is self explanatory, I think)

My One-hundred-and-eighty-sixth Post

2009-03-18T12:31:00.005-06:00

Just a note. If you visit my actual blog, you will notice I have added a "shared items" thing to the sidebar. I sort through a ton of blog posts everyday and share with you the cream of the crop--pretty much things that make me giggle and occasionally things that make me think. If you are Google-friends with me (awesome!), you are probably already bombarded by my shared posts in your Google Reader (seriously feel free to block me if they annoy you). But if you're not and you want to be, you can view (and subscribe to) my shared items here. Which I thought was pretty neat.

(PS! LOOK WHAT I DID WITH THE GRAPHIC! I AM SO FUNNY!)

My One-hundred-and-eighty-fourth Post

2009-03-15T21:48:00.004-06:00

Cereal is the best thing ever.

My One-hundred-and-eighty-fifth Post

2009-02-25T12:24:00.006-07:00

I've been wanting to mention my new favorite comic, Daisy Owl. The main characters are Mr. Owl (an owl), his two adopted (human) children Daisy and Cooper, and his (bear) friend Steve. They get into all sorts of hijinks. I'm trying to pick a few favorites to share, but it's difficult because I have too many favorites to chose from!

Let's start with these (click to see original):

Additionally, we have the simple truth of board games, the kidnapping of Mr. Owl, the stuffy monkey saga, worries about raising kids, misconceptions, pie problems, wardrobe malfunctions, The Princess Bride, and depressing educational info. Really you should just start from the beginning and read them all!

And the best part? Alt text!

My One-hundred-and-eighty-third Post

2009-02-20T14:12:00.010-07:00

po·seur \pō-ˈzər, ˈpō-zər\: a person who pretends to be what he or she is not : an affected or insincere person

Is it possible I am a big fat poseur? I think everyone is to some degree. But I have been trying to figure out my own style. I think for the most part I can tell if I don't like something, but when it comes to liking v. ambivalence, I have a hard time making the call. I'm afraid that I want things so that other people will see them and think I am SO COOL for liking them. What if someday I'm left alone with all my stuff, and I look around, and realize I hate it all?

My One-hundred-and-eighty-second Post

2009-02-14T20:42:00.003-07:00

Who says Valentine's Day shouldn't be the same weekend as President's Day?

Happy Valentine's/President's Day everybody!

My One-hundred-and-eighty-first Post

2009-02-04T20:38:00.004-07:00

I'm a boss at work, and so naturally I find myself bossing people around a lot. The simple act of saying 'thank you' is the biggest weapon in my arsenal of pretending to be nice. Try saying it more--it'll make you feel better when you tell people to do things.

My One-hundred-and-eightieth Post

2009-01-13T18:24:00.002-07:00

Fact: Amy Adams (of Enchanted) and Isla Fischer (recently of Confessions of a Shopaholic) are the same person.

Also fact: Watch this.

My One-hundred-and-seventy-ninth Post

2009-01-05T19:47:00.003-07:00

Hey, so some people (you know who you are) have been complaining about how I don't blog very consistently. But here's the thing. My life is not consistently blog-worthy. It's on more of a sporadically blog-worthy schedule.

Here, let me explain. A recap of the last 15 minutes of my life:

I made some hot chocolate, but it was either too strong or too weak. I was too cold to figure out which, so I decided adding some mint extract would fix it. Turns out it didn't-- I think I put way too much in. So I experimented by adding more water and then more chocolate powder. And then I started adding sugar and vanilla extract and cinnamon. It was gross, so I bit the bullet and dumped it out. I made some more, it was mediocre and yet delicious. Then I indulged in my minor obsession with tiny horses by looking at this picture of a seeing-eye-horse.

See what I'm saying? You should be grateful I only blog when I feel compelled to. Seriously.

My One-hundred-and-seventy-eighth Post

2009-01-03T16:24:00.004-07:00

Hey, so a few minutes ago I noticed the 'f' key on my keyboard was not working. There are a lot of words that have F's in them and I would hate to have to stop using all of them. This could have been a total FAIL. Actually, it would have been an AIL, which doesn't make sense at all. But fortunately that pesky F-key started to work again a couple minute later.

I'm still kind of concerned and not just because I'm afraid it will happen again. I was sending out some work emails earlier and telling people about their shifts for next semester. I'm not exactly sure when the F-key stopped working, and now I'm the tiniest bit worried that I wasn't telling people about their shifts at all...

My One-hundred-and-seventy-seventh Post

2008-11-20T12:29:00.003-07:00

Guys, I finished both of the books I bought last week. And they both fulfilled my expectations. The Confessions of Fitzwilliam Darcy was pretty bad, but not as terrible as it might have been: the only time I actually had to laugh out loud was when Mr. Bingley "playfully punched" Mr. Darcy on the arm. I give it a D+. Stardust was good. Left plenty of little loose ends (possibly resolved in Neil Gaiman's other novels??), but nothing to keep me from enjoying the story. A solid B+.

But really this post is to show you the preview for the new movie based on another of Neil Gaiman's books, Coraline.

See it here:

My One-hundred-and-seventy-sixth Post

2008-11-13T15:10:00.003-07:00

What’s wrong with the world (Installment 4): Stairs

Some might argue that stairs are a necessary and important part of life. But those people are WRONG. I start my days by going up a massive staircase...
And then a few minutes later, going down a different set of stairs.
The thing is, I wouldn't mind going up the stairs so much if it weren't for the going back down a short while later.
It's futile!
They have to be stopped. And I have to stop them.

My One-hundred-and-seventy-fifth Post

2008-11-12T14:47:00.003-07:00

I made several attempt to put disclaimers at the top of this post, deleting each one a few moments later. You're reading my blog, you have to put up with the things I want to talk about, no matter how innane or long-winded they may be. Love it or leave it.

Tuesdays tend to be my "fun" day during the week, so my friend Sam-girl and I have made a habit of hanging out and doin' stuff those days. Yesterday, we ended up carousing through through a mall looking at shoes and books.

It was while shoe shopping that I realized that I don't know how to wear winter clothing and accessories. With winter staring me cold in the face, I knew I needed to find some suitable winter/snow-type footwear to keep my tootsies warm and dry (try saying that aloud with a straight face). Unfortunately, every pair of boots Sam-girl tried to talk me into just felt ridiculous on me. They may look great on somebody else, but I think I look silly in them. It's the same with scarves and ear muffs and such. Because I grew up in southern Arizona, I didn't really need a winter wardrobe. I just added a light jacket to what I wore during the rest of the year. I never really got to experiment with and decide what I like and don't like when it comes to winter-y stuff. Sad. I feel like I'm missing out.

Next we hit up Borders. The problem with browsing in a bookstore is that it's really overwhelming. You have no choice but to judge a book by its cover; if it's not flashy or on special display, you'll never give it the time of day. Added to this, I don't actually like buying books I've never read, and I see no point in buying books I have read. It's just too much of a luxury for me right now. So I wandered around behind Sam-girl (who is an expert at bookstore-browsing, but a failure at self-control-in-a-bookstore) looking through a LOLcats book (sad, I know). Sam-girl was, among other things, looking for a copy of the novel Stardust for her collection. We could only find one of the mass-produced copies containing a picture section with still shots from the movie. Sam-girl likes pretty books, so this was out of the question for her. But, it managed to circumvent my self-control shield because I already knew the story (sort of), so I knew I would be interested in it, but I had never actually read the book. Plus, it was for cheap. So I picked it up. And I feel good about the purchase.

There was another purchase, though, that I feel light-to-moderately embarrassed about. It was The Confessions of Fitzwilliam Darcy, basically a rewriting of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice from Darcy's point of view. *wince* I know, okay? It was not a good buy. I made the mistake of buying a P&P spin off book once before when I was 15 or something, and it was bad. I mean really truely horrible. The review from Publishers Weekly for Mr. Darcy's Daughters pretty much says it all:

"Aston attempts to imitate Austen's style, with little success-the prose is stilted and anachronistic ("it would be very fortunate if we were to find a suitable young man for Letitia. To help her get over Tom's loss, you know, and give her thoughts a new direction"). The daughters' personalities are drawn in broad, predictable strokes, and the romantic plot feels contrived and overly drawn out. Despite the curiosity factor, even Austen fans will likely give this a miss..."

So I knew I should probably at least find a decent review of it before committing myself to buying it. Even then, checking it out from the library would proabably be the most it was worth. But I was stupid and feeling impulsive--I went ahead and bought it. But if anyone asks, I only borrowing it from a friend. I swear.

Now I have to go take a midterm. Even though I'm sick. And missed three of the eleven lectures this test covers. I blame my sister Melissa for always encouraging me to ditch class. See what you did? YOU'VE RUINED ME!!!!1

My One-hundred-and-seventy-fourth Post

2008-11-02T08:04:00.002-07:00

I am late to church every week because I can't stand getting ready with three other people in the bathroom.

For heavens sake! I just want to brush my freaking teeth!

My One-hundred-and-seventy-third Post

2008-10-31T10:39:00.002-06:00

So today is Halloween, in case you weren't aware. At work this morning, I pinned an "A" cut out of red fabric on my uniform. Very few people got it. My real costume for tonight will be a bit more recognizable, I hope.

On Friday I have an hour between the end of my shift and my only class of the day, so I was looking forward to chilling out and maybe reading the paper or something. My class had planned on making some hygiene kits today, though, and I had left the items I'd volunteered to bring at home.

*Sigh*

So I had to run home right after work to grab them. I was just going to head right back to campus, but I decided to check my email really quick first. Boy am I glad I did. My professor was not feeling well, and class was canceled! I mean, I'm sorry she's sick, but not that sorry. Weee! Now I can make billions of cookies for the awesome party tonight.

Also, as a Halloween treat, I give you this clip from 30 Rock:

You can listen to the whole thing here, if you like.

My One-hundred-and-seventy-second Post

2008-10-22T14:04:00.002-06:00

Guys, my sister Shannon is awesome. She is like the nerdiest internet bargain hunter in the world. She's always sending me emails telling me how to get free stuff, and it's usually legit. Well, today's free stuff was sooo easy, I knew I just had to share it with the world.

Go here, and enter your address, and they'll send you 8 sample chocolate truffles! With no other obligations what-so-ever. They don't even ask for an e-mail address to spam you. Weee!

But, she says it probably won't stay up long, so sign up quick.

My One-hundred-and-seventy-first Post

2008-10-20T13:56:00.002-06:00

Boring story to follow. My apologies.

As of last Thursday, my apartment has been without hot water. We emailed our managers Friday, but we didn't hear anything from them right away. So we suffered through Friday, Saturday, and Sunday with very cold water. It's been rather annoying and inconvenient. I ended up boiling water to do the dishes. Also, cold showers are not all they are cracked up to be. The main thing is that they're cold. Wowie. Cold, cold, cold!

Well, Sunday, we dragged our home teachers over to look at the water heater. I didn't really think there was anything they could do, but at least we would feel like something was happening to fix it. They determined that the pilot light was out, and they relit it. Sure enough, we started to get some hot water again. Yay!

But, about an hour later, our manager finally came by and looked at it. Turns out, the pilot light had gone out again and there was definitely something wrong with the hot water heater. He said they'd have to get someone to come look at it. Bah!

I'm a little worried now because the guy just came to fix it, and after taking one look at it, he said, "Oh-ho-ho. This is ugly. This is ugly! This is ugly."

Not a good sign when it comes between me and a hot shower. Not a good sign at all. I'll keep you updated.

My One-hundred-and-seventieth Post

2008-09-28T19:56:00.003-06:00

Last night I was slightly distracted during the General Relief Society thing. So I came up with a list of variations on the Relief Society motto, "Charity Never Faileth."

Charity's pretty reliable
You can usually count on Charity
Charity won't let you down
Charity is a responsible member of society
Charity is solid as a rock
Charity is the Duracell of virtues.
Charity seldom flunketh

My One-hundred-and-sixty-ninth Post

2008-09-19T13:53:00.003-06:00

Guys! Guess what I found at Barnes and Noble yesterday!

!!!!!

Each set includes the candidate's wife and Obama's has his two daughters as well. Several changes of clothing are provided for each figure. Also interestingly enough, the "unclothed" Obama figure is simply wearing boxer shorts. The McCain figure is wearing boxer shorts, an undershirt, and knee socks. Hee.

My One-hundred-and-sixty-eigth Post

2008-09-17T13:20:00.004-06:00

Is it bad that I've been up for five hours, and I just saw myself in the mirror for the first time about two minutes ago? Unfortunately for me, my roommates this semester all tend to get ready for the day at the exact same time as I do. This makes mirror time a hot commodity, especially for my two freshman roommates who have not yet learned the art of "not caring what you look like" (I mastered this skill long ago).

If I want a shower in the morning, I have to get up at least five minutes before my roommate does—otherwise it's pretty much impossible. And another roommate monopolizes the sink and vanity area, making it awkward to even reach in and grab my toothbrush. I've started keeping it in my room and brushing my teeth in the kitchen sink (normally something I would disapprove of).

I almost can't wait until my new job starts in earnest. I'll have to get up two hours earlier—5am!—but at least I'll have the bathroom to myself for a few precious minutes.

My One-hundred-and-sixty-seventh Post

2008-09-17T13:10:00.005-06:00

I had a professor a few semesters back that I see all over campus now. I still think he looks like Ken Jennings.

Maybe I'm completely crazy.

(By the way, the first one is Brian Cannon, Associate Professor of History at BYU. The second is Ken Jennings, of Jeopardy! fame.)

My One-hundred-and-sixty-sixth Post

2008-09-17T12:58:00.003-06:00

I'm always nervous when I see a new email from my boss, or one of my professors. I just automatically find myself on edge trying to anticipate what I could have done wrong to warrant such dire retribution as a potentially nasty email. Most of the time they're just benign reminders or questions, but until I open them, I have no way of knowing. I think I"m going to have to start using the term "Schrödinger's email."

Well, with my new job, I've been sending out a lot of informational emails to an employee mailing list from my boss's email account. I know it's irrational, but when I see those emails later in my inbox—the ones I sent MYSELF—I still have that moment of panic.

Pshh. I'm such a pansy.

My One-hundred-and-sixty-fifth Post

2008-09-03T22:31:00.001-06:00

Why is my can of racketballs "sealed for freshness"?

My One-hundred-and-sixty-fourth Post

2008-07-21T19:24:00.003-06:00

Scrubbing hairspray buildup off of the bathroom mirrors: 15 minutes

Ridding the vacuum of every trace of hair: 30 minutes

Vacuuming hair off the floor: 10 minutes

Pulling nasty slimey gobs of hair out of the shower drain: 45 minutes

*
Convincing my roommates to shave their heads: Priceless

My One-hundred-and-sixty-third Post

2008-06-12T12:02:00.002-06:00

Last month when I was home, my three year old nephew was recruiting me to play Mario World with him on an old SNES. Really, he just wanted me to beat everything for him. He was especially excited when I ended up at the back door to Bowser's Castle. Except that's not what he called it. He called it Browser's Castle.

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Age of the Internet.

My One-hundred-and-sixty-second Post

2008-06-09T14:54:00.002-06:00

I just wrote a post about my weekend, but I accidentally published it on my family's blog instead. I'm too lazy to fix it, so instead, you get...

Pictures of Everything: Installment 4

Rest in peace, little peanuts. Rest in peace.

My One-hundred-and-sixty-first Post

2008-05-13T09:58:00.002-06:00

Last Friday we took my nieces and nephew miniture golfing and then to McDonalds for lunch. They were very excited and began chanting "Happy Meals!" for a bit. After a while it morphed into "Happy Nuggets!" (because the Happy Meals we had ordered were of the chicken nugget variety). When they realized that we weren't going to stay and eat at the restaurant, though, it suddenly changed to "Sad Nuggets." They repeated this phrase about a billion times on the drive home.

A few days later, my nephew tripped and fell (as most young children are prone to do from time to time). He landed on his posterior and immedietly excalimed: "BUTT! Owwie Nuggets!"

...

Bwahahaha!

My One-hundred-and-sixtieth Post

2008-05-13T09:55:00.002-06:00

Actually, I almost made it on. And by almost, I mean, he ripped my ticket and let me past the Very Official Door guarding the little walkway that lead to the airplane. And then he called me back. The cabin door had been closed early. Thirty seconds too early. And so, while one agent was yelling down the passageway for an explanation, the other gingerly motioned me back into the airport proper. Probably afraid I would refuse to come. But it was not his fault anymore than it was mine. Now I'm sitting here. And the whole time I've been sitting here, the little restaurant/bar next to me has been playing Billy Joel songs nonstop.

My One-hundred-and-fifty-ninth Post

2008-05-12T12:16:00.002-06:00

Pictures of Everything: Installment 3

From what I've heard, the weather in Provo today is pretty dismal. My sympathies. Arizona is gorgeous and warm and sunny today.

My One-hundred-and-fifty-eighth Post

2008-05-06T11:05:00.002-06:00

Guys, mini is always better. Trust me.

I've always had a love for all things dainty and small. Even in kindergarten, I used to dig through the crayon bin to find the small slender crayons instead of the fat ones. When I would set the table, my place had to have a little salad fork instead of the larger dinner fork. I would lust after those mini ice cream cones (you know-- the ones that were only like 4 inches tall). If there was something big that could somehow be made smaller, I wanted it. I've gotten over that somewhat, but every once in a while the preference for all things little pops up.

Thus you can imagine my excitement when I discovered my roommate owned mini cupcake pans. I could make mini cupcakes! Little mini ones! I have a feeling I will now be making cupcakes a lot more often than I have in the past.

My One-hundred-and-fifty-seventh Post

2008-04-30T17:33:00.002-06:00

So I'm moved into my new place-- yay! Except they only have wireless Internet. Only. My laptop doesn't have a wireless access, so I have been essentially cut off from the world for four days. Sad.

My roommate Hamburger has a desktop computer, so we bought a wireless adapter for it. I'm using her computer for now. I will hopefully be getting a wireless card from my dad in the near future. He said he'd mail it to me, which seemed strange to me because I will be at home next week anyway.

Speaking of which, I WILL BE AT HOME NEXT WEEK! My parents are going to Australia (!) for a couple weeks, and I'm clearly chosing that window of time to go see my sisters without having to deal with my parents. (Kidding!) I'm mostly going to help keep an eye on my little brothers and make sure they don't burn the house down... too much.

I'm excited about going home. Hopefully that thought will sustain me tomorrow at work. I'm looking at a 16 hour day. And Friday won't be much better. Stupid Women's Conference.

My One-hundred-and-fifty-sixth Post

2008-04-20T22:29:00.007-06:00

Pictures of Everything: Installment 2

And now, a very special episode of Pictures of Everything:

My One-hundred-and-fifty-fifth Post

2008-04-17T22:46:00.005-06:00

A few weeks ago, Martin and I were watching video clips from The Onion's "News" Network. We especially found this one amusing, in which China celebrates its pollution levels being so high. Apparently, lots of pollution means lots of technological advancement.

"The labor of the people has made the sky black with the smoke of progress"

So I was taking a quiz on recent news headlines, and since I was chatting with Martin at the time, I shared it with her.

Me: I'm taking a quiz, and one of the questions reminds me of the Onion clip on China. "China has been revealed as the world's biggest polluter, in an authoritative report to be published next month. Which country has it overtaken?"
Martin: Tibet
Me: Um, no. The US.
Martin: China has overtaken the US?

Yes, Martin. China is now in control of the US. I guess I'd better brush up on my Mandarin. Hen Gao Xing Yu Xian Ni.

(This is a good example of how you can answer a question correctly, but still be completely and utterly wrong.)

My One-hundred-and-fifty-fourth Post

2008-04-15T14:10:00.003-06:00

Pictures of Everything: Installment 1

I have a folder on my computer entitled "pictures of everything." I have a lot of random and amusing things saved there. But, after tucking them away in this folder, they often never manage to resurface. So I've decided to occasionally post one on my blog. Here is the first one:

My One-hundred-and-fifty-third Post

2008-04-09T10:54:00.002-06:00

I too have caught the gardening bug. This is probably because I made the mistake of accompanying Uffish on a midnight WalMarket run to obtain very important items such as "milk" and "hose." The hose search lead us back into the gardening area, and I decided I needed more green in my life. Unfortunately, I have a bit of a black thumb when it comes to growing things, so I was really hoping for something already alive that I could kill off by the end of the summer. But while we were attempting to drag Uffish away from the seeds (I think she ended up buying 6 more kinds of seeds and a tomato plant in addition to all the stuff she already has), I noticed a small packet of mint seeds. Herbs could be fun, and they are supposedly fairly easy to work with! So I got mint, sweet basil, and parsley seeds. I also got a cute little pot to grow them in. I have decided to call them Minnie, Bailey, and Pops. Maybe I should have postponed naming them, because it will be very sad if they don't grow at all.

Also, I went to The Sconecutter this morning to... um... buy scones. It has a surprisingly diverse menu including scones, scone breakfast sandwiches, scone sandwiches, sconenuts (like donuts, but with scones), dessert scones, and curly fries. Its drive-thru is open 24-hrs, so if you're hankering for some good ol' fashioned fried dough, give 'em a try any time of day. Also, the scones are huge, so unless you have at least 3 people, do not order the 6 pack of scones.

My One-hundred-and-fifty-second Post

2008-03-31T16:03:00.003-06:00

Many of you expressed excitment when I mentioned my upcoming post What’s Wrong With the World (Installment 4). Well, this is not it. I did several of the graphics for it, but I'm just not feeling it right now. Plus, I'm kind of blogged out after completely revamping my family's blog for spring. Instead, you get an accounting of my activities for the last 60 hours.

My One-hundred-and-fifty-first Post

2008-03-26T10:48:00.004-06:00

I really like doing crosswords. I can usually only solve the Monday and Tuesday puzzles, but that doesn't keep me from trying the harder ones when I have a few spare minutes. Sometimes I find those spare minutes while I'm on a break at work. I can scribble in a few answers, and then I usually leave it unfinished on a table somewhere. Sometimes when I come back to it, a few more answers have been written in by other aspiring crossword enthusiasts. Yesterday a friend joined me on break and we were able to completely finish one. When we came to the last few clues, I didn't even realize we were at the end. It was just good, clean fun. Tee hee.

Emily Cureton does drawings inspired by the NYT crossword puzzle. This is the sketch from the one we did yesterday.

My One-hundred-and-fiftieth Post

2008-03-26T00:36:00.002-06:00

Martin and I talked on the phone for 45 minutes today. And considering that neither one of us likes talking on the phone, I think that means she likes me.

My One-hundred-and-forty-ninth Post

2008-03-12T13:13:00.003-06:00

I took private voice lessons from my choir teacher in high school. At one of our first lessons, he was telling me that practice was important, and I should probably be doing formal vocal exercises every day. Then he said “Of course, I know I’m probably preaching to the choir.” Then there was a short pause, so I gravely nodded my head, indicating that I understood the importance of practice. Then we continued on with the lesson.

It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I got that he was making a joke. He was my choir teacher. He was literally preaching to the choir. Ha!

And now, a Star Trek reference:

Data: I get it! "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to leave!" I get it!
Geordi: Data, what do you get?
Data: The Farpoint mission! You told a joke; that was the punchline!
Geordi: The Farpoint mission? Data, that was seven years ago.
Data: I know! I finally get it! Very funny!

My One-hundred-and-forty-eighth Post

2008-03-03T15:24:00.004-07:00

I just made Jello cups.

I made them all on my very own without stealing them from invalids, or showing up at a little league soccer match, or conjuring them out of mid-air, or buying them. I did none of those things!

See, I've had this box of raspberry Jello forever: it just seemed like something good to have on hand. But every time I'm in the mood for Jello, I am NOT in the mood to wait four hours for Jello. But I finally made it this afternoon when I had the brilliant idea to split the Jello up into smaller containers so it would set up faster! Woo-hoo! (I was originally going to follow the fast set-up recipe, but we didn't have any ice.)

So in searching for appropriate containers, I happened to come across a bunch of little tupperware containers that I never use because they are too small to be practical (about 1/2 cup each). I mixed up the Jello, divided it among the little containers and popped them in the fridge. A few hours later, I had magical individual Jello cups...

...and a fridge shelf covered in Jello goo that had leaked. If you ever decide to try this, consider not putting the lids on until after the Jello has set up.

Also, substitute Sprite or 7UP for the cold water in the recipe. Your life'll never be the same.